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Sacrifice

The week from hell is finally over. Never have I been so emotionally worried, confused or lost within my own mind. I don’t let thoughts cloud or block my judgment on issues, yet I almost gave in to the overwhelming, seductive pull of self-pity. Feeling sorry for yourself or feeling like a victim is a choice – not a consequence.

I realized over the past week that you always have a choice. There are some things in life you can’t control, but you are always left with choices. You may not like any of the paths those choices lead to – but you always have a choice. I stumbled across two quotes recently that made me think – “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” and “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell part, that’s true strength.”

Keeping a clear and open mind is the key to being able to quickly sort out and overcome any issue. A common trait in today’s society is the way people run away from their problems. Which is interesting when you consider that the generations before us were all headstrong, determined and vigilant. Running away or ignoring was never an option – but now, it’s common for people to give up or ignore their issues. Which in the long term, doesn’t fix a single thing.

One of my statuses on Facebook a few weeks ago was – “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger … based on that theory… come Monday afternoon I should be the real life equivalent of superman”, and while I didn’t quite feel like superman last Monday afternoon – I sit here now, a week after that Monday and I see the big picture. This year is potentially full of circumstances that are going to lay the foundation for the next few years of my life. Next month, a five year chapter of my life will be closed.

It’s funny looking back on your years when you are actually able to remember them – and maybe that’s just because I’m at the age where those are suppose to be some of the best years of my life, I don’t know. When I was 12, I certainly didn’t remember anything about being 7, 8 or 9. Yet here I am, a month away from being 23 and I still remember what I was doing with my life when I was 18. Possibly because what I was doing at 18 had a strong influence on how I got where I am today.

Time is cruel and I often wish I could go back in time and relive particular moments over and over – I guess that’s why we have memories? It’s never worth dwelling on the past, yet at the same time it’s crucial to avoid any moments or situations that leave you thinking “What if?”. In some cases it may take years to get answers to some of the most important questions life throws at you. Rest assured, you will get answers, when exactly? That’s anyone’s guess, but in the meantime, while you wait – expect the best, be prepared for the worst, fuck what others think and do your own thing.

In closing – its true. The best things in life are free, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to work for them. If you really want something – then it’s worth the wait, it’s worth the sacrifice. If it wasn’t – you wouldn’t be waiting.

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